Beautiful Minds Inspire Others

Utter Devastation, but Still Hope

Posted on September 29, 2024 by Dr. B.

I am unapologetically East Tennessean. I have lived for all of my life in what I consider to be God’s country, at the foot of the Smoky Mountains, in a valley between two lakes, in a small town where I grew up knowing almost everyone I saw. In case you haven’t heard, this beautiful landscape and culture is suffering right now. For the first time that I can remember, we are in recovery from a hurricane…in a landlocked state. The rains started and they just kept coming. Dams that are over a century old got to the point that notifications were going out about imminent catastrophic failures. Some of our smallest towns found themselves evacuating and under water. Major bridges washed away. People have been left stranded, hospitals had to be evacuated, areas are accessible only by air travel, animals have died or been lost, people are missing, and I can’t even begin to estimate the damage that has been done and what it will take to recover. Entire cities are without water because their sanitation systems and water pumps are destroyed. It seems to be a pretty bleak outlook in areas that never thought a hurricane would have this much impact on us. I mean, come on, there are entire states between us and the ocean. Our ground is saturated, even where we aren’t flooded. Trees are down, people don’t have power, and there is a general state of eeriness and sadness as I look around.

I guess none of this really sounds hopeful, but in the midst of everything a couple of us took a group of students to Middle Tennessee for a conference and as I was thinking about leaving, and worrying about driving in all the mess and keeping us all safe, I thought back to Genesis 9:11.

As I packed on Friday and prayed before I left the house to pick up students, I kept thinking back to God’s promise that He would never again destroy the earth with a flood. While there is devastation all around us, that verse gave me peace and comfort for our drive. I can’t lie and say it was an easy drive. The roads were okay, but the wind was awful. Traffic was better than normal, but the rain made things hairy as we drove. However, there is a stretch as you drive down I40 from East TN heading to Nashville where you are surrounded by trees and mountains and can’t see any towns or city life. This is always a beautiful stretch to drive, especially in the fall. On the way to Nashville, we talked about how sad we were that the leaves hadn’t started changing because normally when we go to this it is beautiful and vibrant with the fall colors. This time it was still pretty lush with green. We got to Nashville and kept checking in with those back home. One student had family that was stranded, others were talking to their friends who had lost homes or had no power or water. We went on to our conference, distracted at best, and the students made new friends. The advisors sat and talked and had great conversations. Saturday came and hope showed itself again. Those students and people that we were with from across the state were handing us money to go to Costco and get provisions to take back with us because of the devastation in East TN. We drove back with all of our students, plus 10 cases of water and 6 cases of snacks to start our relief drive to take to the most highly affected areas around us. That is the work of God’s people. We gave and received hugs this weekend, we learned a lot this weekend, for 8 girls and 2 advisors from this part of the world, our souls were renewed through the actions of those around us and we were safe. Even though we drove across the mountains to Middle TN in not great weather, we were safe. We even got our minds off of things for a little bit. Yes, there was doom-scrolling, but there was also a lot of conversation about how we could be the hands and feet of God in our area. There were tears as we worried about and prayed for our area, but there was also hope shared with us from those we were with at the conference. For that I will be eternally grateful.

To the STEA chapters of UT-Martin, Austin Peay, and Tennessee State University, our Carson-Newman chapter says thank you. Thank you for loving on us and distracting us. Thank you for supporting us. To the amazing leaders of the Tennessee Education Association that were in charge, we say thank you for making sure we knew we were taken care of and had a place to land if we needed it. Thank you for giving us a respite from what is going on around us and sending us back with supplies for our people. There is no greater love than what has been shown to us this weekend. I know I am forever changed because of the experiences I had with 8 students and my co-advisor/best friend as we traveled to a conference in the midst of a disaster. The support and questions about our travels, and acknowledgements of our worries about our friends at home and even our football team as they were traveling further towards the coast will never be forgotten. Now we move forward with that energy you gave us and work to help with recovery from this. And maybe, just maybe, the best news of the day is that this morning the sun is out. I don’t know for how long until we get hit with more rain, but for right now, the sun shines in the Appalachias. #AppalachianStrong

Beating Imposter Syndrome, Inspiration, This is me

Big Alice, Muchness, and Me

Posted on September 6, 2024 by Dr. B.

I was doing my devotion and reading this morning and this just happened to be one of those days where everything from the different books and readings that I use in the mornings lined up. I think a lot of us spend a lot of time in our lives trying to make ourselves fit into the boxes that other people have for us. Recently, there’s been a TikTok video trend about being demure and mindful, and I think that is one thing that a lot of us have maybe tried to do for most of our lives. Trying to be quiet enough or not boisterous so we don’t bother people; laugh, but not too loud; cry, but don’t ugly cry; be you, but make you fit the molds of society. These are things that a lot of people struggle with throughout their lives and make themselves fit into, even when it is uncomfortable and foreign to them and feels like a lie.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying go out and be as loud as you want and way what you want and to heck with everyone else’s thoughts or feelings. I am still a southern girl and that need to be kind and gracious will always be ingrained in who I am. As I read this morning, though, I realized that when I try to fit into the boxes others have built for me, I’m not fitting into the person that I was designed to be. For me, I believe that God has designed me the way He wanted, for a specific purpose (that may or may not be known to me yet). That means the loud, funny person that I like to be also has a spot at the table with the girl that strives to be classy and smart. He gave me all of those things.

The last thing I read this morning was Chapter 10 of You are the Girl for the Job by Jess Connolly. I’ve been reading a chapter each day of this book. It’s funny, I bought the book on a whim from an email that I received recommending it and decided that I would work it into my devotional time each morning at the end to transition from my devotions to working. I thought it would be helpful to bridge the gap and make things fit together. What I didn’t anticipate was that it would speak to me so much. The chapter this morning has a section about Big Alice from the newer version of Alice in Wonderland and talks about the courage that it takes to be Big Alice. It also talks about the word very found in Joshua 1:7 and how that word translates back in Hebrew to meod, which translates into muchness. Interesting that a word that may or may not really be a word (muchness) is found in Alice in Wonderland and in the Bible. I wouldn’t typically look for similarities in those two works, but today it really spoke to me.

Why do we try to hide our muchness? What does it mean to have the courage of Big Alice and how could our muchness help us feel more at ease with ourselves and help us grow into the people that God designed us to be? How can we keep from being little Alice and losing our muchness? How do we help the muchness move from “in there” to being our true selves? It is a lot of questions this morning, but also some clarity in becoming who I am meant to be. For me, I need a reminder that my muchness is part of who God intended me to be, so I made a poster. Feel free to download it if you want, print it, whatever. Hopefully it is helpful to someone, I know I’m printing it and putting it at my desk at home as a reminder to be who I am.

Until next time, just remember:

Come on out, Big Alice. The world needs your muchness.

This is me

Life is Changing

Posted on July 28, 2024 by Dr. B.

We are ramping up to one of my least favorite times. I absolutely hate election season. I didn’t use to hate it. I used to be fascinated by it. I liked to hear how people thought they could fix the city, state, and country. I liked hearing the plans they had. I even enjoyed listening to some of the debating that happened. But, life is changing. This is no longer a time that I look forward to because it brings new ideas and fresh perspectives. It is now a time marked by hate ads, ugly words, and broken friendships. It is a time where the fresh perspectives and new ideas have been replaced by criticism, lies, and mean girl sayings that would make Regina George look like a saint.

I grew up being told that there were just certain things we didn’t talk about in public – politics, religion, and other people. Why did that change? Why is there no civil discourse? Why am I getting attack ads in the mail every single day? I listen to a lot of people talk and I keep hearing the same things over and over. If we are all tired of it, then why are we tolerating it? Why are we okay with consuming it? I stop at the trash bin outside the house everyday and throw the ads away before I even make it inside with them. I don’t want that junk in my house or in my life. Life is changing, and I’m not sure I like it.

Today, we take B to football camp with his team. He will be gone for 4 days. I’m excited for him. This will be a good time for them, although it is a tough time with lots of work. Yesterday, we took him back to school shopping. We are headed into his junior year. When I pick him up from camp, he will be less than 2 weeks from driving on his own. The days are winding down where he needs me to get him places. The days are winding down where he needs me on a daily basis. I’m excited for his junior year. I’m excited to see the hard work the team has been putting in all summer pay off on the field. I’m sad to acknowledge that the time is growing short before he will be off on his own. I look at him and don’t see the little boy that I used to see. Life is changing, and I’m not sure I like it.

A is getting ready to turn 21 and start her senior year in college. She works practically full time and has her future set in her mind. She doesn’t really need us, and that is good. She’s doing what she needs to do. It is still a little weird to think that she will be moving on with her own life. Pretty soon, she won’t look to us for advice or things that she needs, she will be doing it all on her own. I’m excited for her, but… Life is changing, and I’m not sure I like it.

I’m ramping up to head back to work (in the office, I’ve been working from home most of the summer). We will welcome in a new crop of freshmen, transfer students, and graduate students. I will have a whole new group of job-embedded students. I’m handing over a couple of my classes for the first time. I’m excited, but also nervous. I absolutely trust the people I am handing them to, but I have this control issue that is hard to let go of. David will be back to working every day, we will have football at night and on the weekends, A will be working and in school, B will be driving, I’ll be back to teaching in person a full load (but with one less night class). I worry about keeping up some of the habits that I have put into my life that have made it better this summer. I will miss the boat days and being able to work surrounded by the dogs and the cat. Life is changing, and I’m not sure that I like it.

You know what, life is changing. Although there are some aspects that I may not like, there are others that I am looking forward to. In the end, it will all happen the way it is supposed to happen. The election will eventually end and maybe people will get back to being civilized. Whether I like it or not, I can’t change it. I can just live the way that I feel like we should be living. Not allowing the junk into my life, ignoring the hate and the ugliness, and trying to make the best decisions I can make. B is going to be driving. I will worry, but I am also really proud of the human he is becoming. If he doesn’t grow up, I will never see what he becomes, so there is good in that. I want to see who he ends up being. The same thing with A. I can’t wait to see her accomplishing her dreams as a lawyer. She’s had a ton of growth in the past year. It is so worth it to watch them grow up.

While it is hard to think about a new semester without some of the students that I had previously because they graduated, the beauty of teaching is that I always get new students to pour into and love on and I get to watch them become who they are meant to be. The changes that are coming for David and I will be beautiful and peaceful as we move towards that empty nest and having time to just be the 2 of us. Football will slow down, track will start and end, and it will be summer once again. B won’t need me to get to practice anymore, but that also means he is gaining independence. Life is changing, and I’m choosing to embrace it. I may not like everything that is happening, but the end result will be amazing. I am sure of that.

Inspiration, This is me

Sunday Funday … or is it?

Posted on July 21, 2024 by Dr. B.

Sunday Funday. That’s a phrase I hear often and even one I have used myself. I was cleaning out some books yesterday and found one that I had gotten to try to incorporate more Sunday Fundays when the kids were little. As I looked at it, I realized that I didn’t even open it up enough to bend the spine. Last night, I took everyone to a Smokies baseball game. I had the whole thing planned out. It was Christmas in July night, they were giving away snowglobes, you could make ornaments, all the fun. We got there late so didn’t get a snowglobe (mind you, late was still 45 minutes before first pitch), it poured the rain on us, we only saw 1.5 innings of baseball, and there were no fireworks.

I look at both of those things and realize how bummed out I got that it didn’t turn out perfectly for either one. I also look at the fact that we ended up trying a new restaurant and laughing a lot at the game. We did make ornaments, and now we can go today and watch a doubleheader because our tickets are honored for that game since it rained so much and we saw so little baseball.

It seems like we all put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have the perfect Sunday fundays or the perfect experiences for our families, especially when our kids are little. What I have realized throughout the years is that it wasn’t the big things that made the difference. Sure, my kids have loved the Disney trips, but they’ve also loved the impromptu picnics or cooking dinner at the firehall. The random trips to Chattanooga to go to the children’s museum and the random movie nights at the house. They’ve even enjoyed the nights we just didn’t do anything “special” besides have dinner together.

Why do we continue to put an immense amount of pressure on ourselves to do more and to do it perfectly? It almost never ends up going as planned and then it can cause a spiral into a place where we just don’t feel like anything we do is good enough for our family. The birthday parties aren’t big enough, the gifts aren’t extravagant enough, the trips aren’t special enough, when in actuality what makes it all special is the time we spend together and focusing on each other.

Sunday funday today is going to be a lot of baseball, but most Sundays it is a lot of rest. It’s eating together, going to the grocery store together, maybe watching a movie together or maybe everyone going their separate ways. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself for it to all look perfect and start enjoying the small mundane things that make up our lives. Instead of planning the perfect outing for the day, jump in the car, turn on a fun playlist and sing together or have a great conversation while you just drive.

Enjoy each other today, regardless of how that looks.

Inspiration, This is me

Comparison is a Punk!

Posted on July 14, 2024 by Dr. B.

Comparison is a punk. It is the thief of joy, the happiness stealer, the confidence killer. It takes people that are doing great things and makes them feel not enough.

Comparison is the thief of joy - Theodore Roosevelt

So why am I starting with that? It was part of my devotional readings this morning, and it just hit me out of nowhere that we are in the midst of the season of comparison. It is summer where I am, that means comparing your body to others, your tan to others, your boat to the boat across the lake, your choices of how to spend your free time with how others are spending their free time, your plans for your classroom that don’t feel like they are ever enough because you’ve seen someone else’s and those are amazing.

Don't measure your progress using someone else's ruler

What really hit me this morning, though, is that not only does comparison do all of those things (and so many more), it also steals our gratitude. It gives us a constant need to look over our shoulder and see what everyone else is doing. It doesn’t allow for us to be content. What is interesting is that even with all of that, I think there is value to watching what is happening around us and being inspired by it.

You see, I don’t think being inspired by what others are doing is bad. I think it is the way that we allow our minds to interpret what we are seeing is bad. I think looking at what someone else has accomplished and using it to make ourselves feel inadequate is bad. There is a difference between being inspired to do something and beating ourselves up because we aren’t already doing it. Maybe it isn’t our time to do that yet. Maybe we need to learn more. Maybe we are spending so much time looking outward that we aren’t realizing what we are actually contributing to the world.

I am by no means a Bible scholar. I still look at the table of contents to find the books of the Bible, no matter how much my Sunday School teachers tried to get me to memorize them. I can’t quote Scripture off the top of my head, and I don’t want to get in heavy theological discussions because I feel like I don’t bring much to the table. All that aside, I realized this past week when talking to a potential colleague that I’m still contributing. Just like you can do anything else explicitly or implicitly, you can contribute to the world in that way, too. For me, I will never be the person that is leading the Bible studies or devotions. Most of the time I struggle to do my devotions without getting sidetracked. For the first time, I don’t feel like that is a bad thing. Maybe that is just my way. Perhaps, just like I am working on a book that gives “permission” to be the teacher you want to be, I also need to adopt that I can be the Christian that I want to be. My journey and relationship with God doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s. That doesn’t mean it isn’t just as important to me.

Perhaps the best way that we can be the person that God intended us to be is simply to be the person that feels right. Perhaps comparison really is stealing so many things from us, but most importantly time. Maybe comparison is stealing time that I could be spending being the person God wants me to be because I am too worried about being the person that I think is “right.” Maybe this is all too deep for a Sunday morning, but it is what just felt like it needed to come out of me today.

This is me, Weight Loss Surgery

It’s Summer time!!

Posted on June 5, 2024June 5, 2024 by Dr. B.

It is finally here! Summer has hit our household. At least, it has kind of hit our household. B has football practice every morning, A is working, David is in the office working 4 days a week, and I am working from home. It doesn’t matter, though, because my official state of mind is:

I say that a little tongue in cheek because the weather and illnesses have kinda kept us from being able to be at the lake much yet, but the few times we have been out have been fabulous.

We do have some big summer plans this year. Most of them revolve around football and track stuff for B. He has multiple camps and is working on qualifying for the AAU Junior Olympics in his field events. A is staying busy taking summer classes and working quite a bit. David got invited to a concert in South Carolina recently to help celebrate EMS Week as the final event in a week long celebration of EMS in South Carolina and I was really thankful to be able to go with him to attend that. He was invited because he is the representative for South Carolina, Georgia, and Tennessee for the NAEMT Board. I have been plugging along with creating things for work, building some new classes, and trying to work ahead for some things for fall and even spring to hopefully have the best semester ever.

In weight loss news, I hit Onederland last week. If you don’t know what that is, here’s a little picture that may help:

I have been in the 1s for size in clothing for a few months, but it was really exciting last week to finally see the number on the scale hit that number for the first time in over 20 years. I haven’t really taken a ton of pictures, not that I don’t want to – I just don’t think about it because of avoiding pictures for so long. But I thought I would post a couple that I have taken.

It’s funny that I don’t really see a difference until i look at pictures. I think it speaks a lot to how our mind plays tricks on us. I feel a huge difference, especially since my gallbladder came out.

Overall, the whole family has been plugging along and trying to steal time to sped with each other as it becomes available. We are walking that road right now of knowing that B is only here for a couple of more years of high school and A is entering her senior year of college. David and I aren’t super sure what empty-nesting will look like, but we are sure that it is coming down the road quickly. Right now, we are just enjoying what we are able to do together and taking everything day by day. There have been a lot of changes in the past year and we do our best to navigate those as gracefully as possible.

Uncategorized

It’s Been a While

Posted on May 9, 2024 by Dr. B.

Yes, I know, it has been forever. You know what they say about best laid plans and good intentions. Anyway, I’m back. And there have been lots of changes happening around here. In December, I was named as the Director of the program that I had been the coordinator of, I decided to do a second edition of the textbook, I am working on the Perfect Chaos book, I’ve decided to write a book about going through bariatric surgery (the mental side of it), the kids have stayed busy, David got appointed to the state board of EMS and a national board, Summitt finished her therapy dog stuff and got approved for that, 120 pounds has dropped from my body, I had gallbladder surgery and I honestly don’t even remember what else has happened. I’ve done better about meal planning every week, but if I forget to do it or get busy, it seems like our whole week is shot.

There it is. The pictures I haven’t felt like I should post because a lot of days I don’t see the difference. It’s a weird space to be in when you know there is a difference, but you can’t necessarily see it. Overall, since my first doctor’s appointment to start the process of gastric bypass on April 28th, I am down 121 lbs. I am right at 5.5 lbs. away from being in “Onederland” (which I still have a hard time believing). I’ve set my reward for when I finally get to that fabled place of a weight that starts with a 1. I’m going to order myself a Wolfpak backpack for the gym. The outfit I have on in the March 2024 picture was what I rewarded myself with when I hit 100 lbs. lost. The weird thing (other than not seeing the difference some days) is that I still have clothes that I wore over 120lbs. ago that I wear now. It’s a struggle on most days to determine what to wear. Then I find new things that I never thought I would be able to wear and get super excited. I may or may not have cried when I was able to buy a pair of Crown and Ivy shorts in a size 14.

Even weirder is that I still am terrified that this isn’t going to work. That at some point, I will wake up and this increased energy and mobility is going to have gone away. That the weight is going to come back with a vengeance. That I will stop feeling like I am almost cute. I am back to eating what I want, just in much smaller quantities. I still track what I eat. I am always thinking about what is the best decision for the moment that I am in and learning to not give myself a hard time if the best decision at the moment isn’t the best decision in the world but it is what I can do now. I’m still losing weight. It is just mentally a weird spot to be in and a weird way to think. My biggest fear right now is that it won’t continue. Not that I want to lose weight forever. That isn’t a thing, but that thought that it will stop and I will balloon back up is constantly in my mind. I’m not sure if it will always be there, but it is there now.

I guess that is really the big update. I’m going to do better about getting updates out there, both on here and on the Perfect Chaos website. I know, you’ve heard that before, but my goal for this summer is to really get myself in a good place with habits and schedules to better balance out what I am doing. Until next time…

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Killing Comparisons

Posted on November 23, 2023 by Dr. B.

The success of others doesn’t mean that we have failed. That was part of one of my devotionals this morning and it really hit me hard. It’s very interesting to me how many of us profess love for others, but still feel as if we have failed if others are succeeding and we aren’t. How much success should we really be striving to achieve? What does it mean when we are unable to feel joy for others and be proud of what they have accomplished without feeling like we should have accomplished something as well? The devotion that it came from was day 1 of Killing Comparisons by Nona Jones (It’s a 5 day free devotional on YouVersion). It brings forth some pretty interesting points. She has a book (here’s her site if you are interested: https://www.nonajones.com/killingcomparison) and I am planning on getting it to read for myself and will possibly try to review it.

Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I’m not certain the context in which he meant that, but I tend to like Teddy Roosevelt quotes and this is one of my favorites. Perhaps I need to research why he said it and what brought him to that conclusion, but I think, for now, I will just roll with what he is saying. How many times have I felt slighted or less than because I compared myself to someone else? It happens all the time. I used to think it just happened because I am hyper-driven to succeed, not just for myself – I am hyper-driven to make others proud of me. In fact, if I let myself get really real about things, I have based most of my view of myself on whether I made others proud or was dependable to them and for them for most of my life.

Teddy Roosevelt quote, "Compraison is the thief of joy."

What does that have to do with comparison? Well, in order for me to feel successful, I compare what I am achieving to people around me. There are some instances in which that is healthy, but there are a lot more where it is really detrimental. You see, I compare the successes but forget to compare the experiences and how we got there. I don’t take into account anything they have done previously or I have done previously. I don’t take into account the season of life that anyone involved is currently living, and I don’t take into account any barriers that may exist. By the way, I don’t just do this with work. I do it with everything in my life.

I saw this quote this morning, and I thought it was interesting that I ran across it while I was spending some self-care time and the house was quiet. It seems as if it is meant for those audible words. The ones we say out loud. You know, the out loud voice that sometimes gets ahead of your brain. I’m thinking about it differently today. What if it also applies to the words we say in our heads. The ones that don’t make it out into daylight. The ones we say about ourselves when we look in the mirror. “I’ve lost a lot of weight, but not as much as ______.” The weight is dropping, but now look at this skin. So and so didn’t have that problem. Why is my body fighting me?” “Why am I not good enough?” “What did I do wrong?” “Why was _______ chosen over me?” Those are some pretty sobering words. You might even call them poison words. If I know they are poison, then why have I said them all within the past week? Why does someone else’s success mean I’m not successful? Why does someone else’s accomplishment mean I’m not accomplished? Why does an indication of success by another automatically indicate failure for me? The easy answer is that it doesn’t. You see, in order to kill the comparisons, I have to learn to love myself, regardless of what I am doing or accomplishing.

Lucille Ball quote about loving yourself first.

It’s funny, I spend a ton of time telling new and future teachers that they have to love themselves and be proud of what they are accomplishing. I tell them all the time to not play the comparison game and not try to be something that it is not their season to be. Why don’t I ever tell myself that? Why do we focus so much on giving great advice to others that we can’t follow ourselves? I’m not sure what is stopping us (or really me since I don’t think I can speak for all of humanity) from acknowledging the success of another without downgrading myself. I’m not super sure why I tie self-worth in with making others proud. I’m not sure I even have the answer to any of the questions that I am asking in this post. What I am sure of is that today is Thanksgiving in America. It is a time to spend with family and friends. It is a time to express gratitude. Maybe, just maybe, it is a time to love myself first. Maybe, just maybe, it is a time to start killing the comparison game and just feeling true joy for the accomplishments of myself and of others. I’m not sure what the future holds. I know that today, I am proud of myself and celebrating the success of others. I’m going to try to no longer be in the business of comparing.

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Love your neighbor …

Posted on November 20, 2023 by Dr. B.

Well, I did it. I had RNY Gastric Bypass on August 28th. I would be lying if I said my life hasn’t totally changed. Between April 24th and August 28th, I lost 48 pounds. Since August 28th, I have lost another 31 pounds. While I am super excited about all of that, the difference in the way people treat me is kind of insane. Maybe it’s because I was small, then big, now trying to get small again or maybe it is because I just try to see people for who they are, not how they appear, but it has almost been disconcerting to watch how people treat each other lately.

I am perfectly aware that people have been treating each other horribly for a long time, nothing is new on that front. I just keep watching how people can say things about others or hold things against others that don’t matter. Sometimes I wish we all walked around without skin or clothes. Take away the body size, the looks, the outward identities that we put on like a set of clothes in the morning and we take away the things that humans tend to judge and get to the basis of humanity. Yes, I have lost weight. That doesn’t change who I am as a person. Yes, I wear smaller clothes, that doesn’t change my intelligence level. Yes, I move with less pain, that doesn’t change how much heart I put into everything and everyone around me.

Meme saying I seem to recall that when Jesus said, "Love thy neighbor," He didn't say, "except If..."

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. It has been showing up in my devotions and popping into my head. I’m guilty of it as well, but I am trying to not be. I’m trying to remember that there is humanity beneath all the outward appearance. People are the ones we are to leave regardless of race, ethnicity, sexual preference, football team preference, size, looks, the music they listen to, the car they drive, their age, their level of education, where they live, what they study, and the list goes on and on. What if, just once per day, everyone made a concerted effort to love someone who was different than they are? What would happen?

Why am I on this kick? It’s actually pretty simple. I don’t want to be treated better because I’m smaller. I want to be treated like a valued human regardless of my size. I’m tired of everyone being so mean to each other. We can actually have differences of opinions and still respect and be kind to one another. We can look different and still be valued. In fact, if we take into account that Bible verse about God making us in his own image, it seems like we might ought to look around at all the images God made. I don’t normally get very religious in front of people. Partially that is because I never studied religion, it’s also because I’m from the south and was raised that religion (and politics) is just one of those things you keep to yourself. That’s why this isn’t really a religious post. At least, it isn’t meant to be. It is meant to be a reminder that, regardless of someone’s size or any other outward appearance, they are still wonderfully made and deserving of kindness.

Maybe I am too much in my feelings this morning, but it is incredibly sad to me that we can’t look past the outward appearance to see the beauty that every individual brings to this world. It’s fine to not like things, but it isn’t fine to treat people shoddily.

To the woman that told me I was a fata** in Walmart the other night because I was buying marshmallows, I’m sorry you were having such a hard day. I also hope you have a great Thanksgiving week.

To the sports fans that treat each other ugly, I hope you are soon able to enjoy the blessing of watching sports without having to rain on someone else’s parade.

To the guy that hit my dog last week and kept going, I hope you got where you needed to go on time and that everything was ok. Don’t worry, Summitt is fine.

To the kids that talk ugly about each other in school, take a moment to think about all the amazing things that the people around you bring to your world. Focus on those instead.

To the people in this world (and I really mean to all of us) who treat others differently because of some prejudice that we hold against something, try closing your eyes and listening/appreciating the person in front of you instead of focusing on the imperfection that you see.

None of us are perfect, but think about how much more perfect this world could be with a little more kindness and understanding, a little more appreciation of the things that bring us together instead of focusing on what makes us different, a little more appreciation and love for our “neighbor” without judgement and harsh words. As we move into this thanksgiving week, I think I’m ready to spend more time being thankful for all the colors, sizes, shapes, and types of people in my life instead of looking at how we are different.

This is me, Weight Loss Surgery

Life Updates/Starting a new journey

Posted on May 21, 2023 by Dr. B.

Well, it has been a little over a year since I wrote a blog post on this page. It has been a very crazy year, but one that I am coming to terms with and finding my peace. We’ve had several life updates, so let’s see if I can hit all of them in one post.

A changed her major from BioChemistry to Political Science with a minor in Criminology
B started high school
A moved home in January while she looks for an apartment with her friends
B played football in the fall until he broke his collarbone
A has been a member of SGA her whole college experience and added EPC (the student group that plans all the events) this semester
B threw shot and discus for the high school track team
B also managed to grow at least a foot this year (no lie, I really think it is a foot)
A did not get taller, but did get a cat that she promptly named Adderall Steve Burnt Toast Addycat (we call her Addy for short)
I surprised David by going to get a puppy (yes, we are still married)
Summitt (the new puppy) is a great pyrenees and has gone through the first step of training for the eventual goal of being a therapy dog
UT beat Bama in football (and we were there)
Huge changes got made to the program that I am in charge of at work
David and I sold our part of the gym (not what we wanted to do, but the choice that we were given because we weren’t “all in”)
We went to Disney right before Christmas
I took on a few more things to do since I am no longer having to spend every spare minute doing gym stuff
David rejoined our old CrossFit gym
I started writing another book
We have all started to try to achieve some new habits
I’ve been to California twice
Our podcast has gotten some new equipment
David is writing articles for JEMS

Daisy and Summitt in the floor of the home office — Summitt (10 months old) and Daisy (11 years old) hanging out in the floor of the home office

I think that is everything, but I’m sure I’m missing something. I guess I will move on to the starting a new journey. No, I am not leaving where I work. This is a new personal journey. I have been to a surgeon and am working on all the steps to have weight loss surgery soon. I’ll be having a Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass, probably around the end of August. I am excited and nervous, but also learning how to not be disappointed that my body won’t give up weight. This is definitely NOT the easy way out of being overweight, but it is the way that I am going to go. I have a lot of reasons behind doing this, and I’ll post those on another post soon. I have questioned whether or not I should go public with what I am doing, but I decided that for me to truly change my mindset about myself, I have to be vulnerable. So, there it is. Laying it out for the whole world. I’m going to try to post more often on here (one of those new habits). This has always been a running commentary of what is in my head when I sit down to write, so don’t expect that to change. Regardless of anything else, this will probably still be a funny place that hopefully makes people feel better.